As I approach my 24th year of living in this enigmatic terradome, the question of “what am I going to do next?” has once again crept its way into my thoughts.
I would put this largely down to the fact that every time I think I’ve settled on a direction, I become interested in something else. None of these things that I’ve come to be curious about feel particularly incompatible to me. I love medicine, and I also like teaching. Seeing individual patients is awesome, but I’m also interested in how healthcare works at a much larger scale. I enjoy research and technology, and I’ve found myself increasingly interested in how they can actually be used to make healthcare better. I’d also love to be able to run my own business.
As time goes by, this list feels like it’s getting longer and longer. Time and time again, I fall into the trap of believing I’m supposed to pick one thing and build my entire identity around it. I have come to realise that this is a myth of the past, and if there’s anyone who can thoughtfully debunk that myth, it’s Ali Abdaal!
Being Flexible
Especially in your twenties, people ask what you want to do as though there is supposed to be one correct answer. You finish university, choose a career, maybe choose a specialty, and then presumably spend the next few decades following the plan.
Maybe some of these interests will eventually converge into something I haven’t figured out yet. Who knows if I’ll spend a few years working clinically, then move into teaching or public health policy. I may end up building something of my own in healthcare. Maybe I’ll try all of those things and realise that one of them is what I actually want.
I have always felt an immense pressure to know how my life is going to pan out with regards to all these ambitions. That compounds into “Am I going to achieve all these things in my lifetime?”
Being Comfortable Not Knowing
Funnily enough, for someone who is fairly spontaneous in day-to-day life, I do find comfort in having thought out the big picture. And yes, it is very useful at times to know what the next step is.
But honestly, I have become much more comfortable with not knowing. What I mean by that is: not knowing for sure that what I want to do right now is what I will end up doing for the rest of my life. It might just change halfway, and that’s totally fine. Realising this fact has unlocked a calmness I did not know I truly needed.
It’s important to keep in mind, there is a difference between having no direction and having several directions to go in. The first might be a problem. The second might mean you haven’t had enough experiences to know which one you want to commit to. I think that’s something I’ve been learning as I get older: plans are useful, but they really shouldn’t narrow your field of view prematurely.
I’d rather keep following things that genuinely interest me, become good at whatever I’m doing at the time, and let the next opportunity change my mind if it deserves to. I don’t think I need to know exactly where all of this is going yet.
For now, it’s probably nicer having too many ambitions rather than too few. One thing is for certain though: I’ll give it my best shot.
And that’s all from me for now! Let me know what your fork in the road is down in the comments below. Till next time!
– Verrel
Featured image by Ross Sneddon on Unsplash
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